In the night, I wrestle with my thoughts. I put up a front that everything is going well. But in reality I am constantly fighting my demons. I don’t know if I will make it tomorrow. I first have to make it through this witching hour.
It’s at night, the monsters come out. Through the windows, I look and see the dark shapes of trees looming over my room with the full moon giving them the shadows and the silhouettes appear. The fear monster, the insecurity monster, the lust monster, the pain monster and many more who troll through my mind. They steal my rest and peace. They kill the joy in my inner most being. They rob my hopes of dreams and desires. They hang over me in ghostly forms of despair, depression, and guilt.
These monsters tell me, “I can’t make it,” “it won’t happen,” “no good will come from this,” “you aren’t good enough,” and on and on it continues though the night. The streams of negative shots are being subtly put into my ears. I simply want to shut down and give in to their destructive ways.
I cringe as they put my life on the screen. I am appalled at my choices. I have let everyone down. I see what I have become, a lost cause. Shame consumes me. Self-pity has become me, resentment has me and hate is controlling me.
In the distance of the shadows, there is faint light that is glowing and beckoning to me. As I draw near, the monsters refuse to follow. Their claws have retracted. They slither back into the darkness. The ghosts of the past disappears in my mind. As the light displays all my filth, it shows the underneath beauty of the stained soul. The voices of doubt and insecurity vanish. I am a mess, but I can be clean again. The stains of my choices can be removed and I can be at peace. The light can break my shackles and set me free.
I choose to be free. I choose to leave the shadows and the darkness and move to the light.
